Trying to make sense of it all. I am putting my words away.

Old memories flash before my eyes..The last time this had happened to me... i stopped writing... from poems, to songs, stories, everything.The fact that this time, i really put my whole heart out there. Its difficult to comprehend, to undertstand. Now... Im Trying to make sense of it all. Im trying to accept i am not good enough, i let my guard down and i trusted someone. Now that its all gone, i want to work on myself and try not to give up on it. At this point, all i have are my words. But im afraid those will not be written any longer. Until i can write again, i hope i dont continue to hurt myself like this. Because i know im a strong person. I thought all my pain was gone. I was wrong. I am also accepting the fact that i lost my only chance of finding happiness in another. I need to be content with the fact that i may just be alone for the rest of my life. I touched real love and warmth once, i am a fool if i think that will happen more then once in a life time. Though its all done, i will keep that tiny bit of hope tucked in somewhere. My head is not on straight at this point... the sense of all my words are fading... which is yet another sign, that I am putting my words away and Closing my heart.
i see you...
but you dont want to see me...