I realize that its been quite a while since I've updated my blog. With these many sleepless nights, I finally got the push to start writing again. Plus not to mention Rachel bitched at me to do so also.
Well its been quite a year so far, I've made some terrible mistakes as well as learned that learning from a mistake can hurt just as much as making the mistake in the first place. But I know that by trying to fix certain things, Although right now it may give me a horrible feeling, it'll soon pass and that it was the best thing out the situation. From my mistakes, non of my options were really good, so i will live with the grief, but i knew it had to be done.
My family has actually been put through more crap in the last month or so that i never thought would ever happen. But it just showed that even in the most horrific situations my family didn't forget we always had each other.
Some of my family situations pushed me to really grow up. I've lived most of my life pretty sheltered. Which i don't see as a "bad" thing per-say, I feel i was just very fortunate. I have usually earned everything i have and i know how to stand on my own two feet. But thanks to my wise mother and a lot of thinking, most of what I've done in my life has been because i was told to. Whether it was being asked to clean the kitchen, cooking or running an errand. Then even at work, it was just constant commands. I never really thought for myself. I never really thought if i did this, will it benefit other things and people. Even when it came to school I'm wrapped up in just being told what to do, i cant even really come out and decide what i want to major in.
I'm slowly learning and growing up. I'm bracing for the future. Here i come.
