Am I pretty?

Am I pretty?
Do I fit the type, standard or expectations you seek in a women?
Or am I too under the level of what's good enough for you?
One can try to feel good about themselves, build self confidence, and try to be happy. Then a person as shallow as a puddle can take that away, by a thoughtless action and hurtful words.
Is it sad that the way one person treats you, can potentially always make you compare yourself to other women who may be more his type, who may be prettier, or may be the person that's...
Better than you?
Well life can be fucked up that way.
He can go for the others you compare yourself too. But the truth is... there is no one who is better at being you...
Than you...
So I ask again... Am I pretty?

DAMN STRAIGHT I AM.

Need a second to breathe.

Yes... I'm afraid.


There might have been a time.
When everything i did was a mistake.
Oh once upon a time.
My heart was in the right place.

Now...
Here we are.
So, don't give up on me.
Please, don't give up on me.....

Just don't give up.
I'm working on me.
It messed me up.
Bad memories.

Need a second to breathe.
One more second to breathe....


Yea... It's plain to see.
That I try to beautiful...
So hard to be beautiful.


Yeah, there might have been a time.
When I would let you slip away.
I wouldn't even try.
All I could do was blame me.


But we saved each others lives.
Open your eyes and see.

So it begins again.

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do.

I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow."
So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all "Yellow."

Your skin..
Oh, your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.

I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.
I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all "Yellow."

It's true, look how they shine for you.
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And all the things that you do.

We were pure "Yellow."

Trying to make sense of it all. I am putting my words away.

Old memories flash before my eyes..The last time this had happened to me... i stopped writing... from poems, to songs, stories, everything.The fact that this time, i really put my whole heart out there. Its difficult to comprehend, to undertstand. Now... Im Trying to make sense of it all. Im trying to accept i am not good enough, i let my guard down and i trusted someone. Now that its all gone, i want to work on myself and try not to give up on it. At this point, all i have are my words. But im afraid those will not be written any longer. Until i can write again, i hope i dont continue to hurt myself like this. Because i know im a strong person. I thought all my pain was gone. I was wrong. I am also accepting the fact that i lost my only chance of finding happiness in another. I need to be content with the fact that i may just be alone for the rest of my life. I touched real love and warmth once, i am a fool if i think that will happen more then once in a life time. Though its all done, i will keep that tiny bit of hope tucked in somewhere. My head is not on straight at this point... the sense of all my words are fading... which is yet another sign, that I am putting my words away and Closing my heart.
i see you...
but you dont want to see me...

Things you said.

It felt like springtime on this February morning. I'm still recalling things you said to make me feel alright, I carried them with me today. Though I'm far away, I'll whisper your name into the sky, And I will make up happy. Heavy hearted, Till you call my name.  Though it's not clear to me, Every season has its change. And I will see youWhen the sun comes out again.

Reason for.

Love the people who treat you right. Care for the ones who don't just because you can. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Anger slowly. Forgive quickly. God never said life would be easy. He just promised it would be worth it. 

The End of It All? 2012.

I finally felt it was time to throw my opinion out there of the much talked about end of the world in 2012. I've heard many theories for what's in store for all of us in 2012, about the planets lining up, the predictions of the Mayan calendar and of course the bible "End of Days" 

Im not here to write which one of these theories are correct, Im not here to say all of these theories are wrong or false. Im simply writing this to express the phrase "So let it be done"

Now before you all claw at me for thinking I don't care about the bible and God, or perhaps thinking I'm in denial about the natural doom of the lining of the planets in our galaxy. Let me explain. 50% of the people on this earth believe the world shall end in 2012, the other 50% believe the world will end, but not that year or just don't believe in it at all. But what it comes down to is... why should it matter? If the world should end, it will end, there is nothing we can physically do to stop it. But why are we living in fear now? 

This prediction of the world ending is making most people stop and just worry. You need to live life, be with your family, this world was not created to wallow in fear and just wait for the world to end. We should not get full on fear and death. We must serve ourselves with gratitude and this beautiful life we were given. 

Are we all to just stop living out our lives because our world may end in a certain time? We can be so ridiculous when we are told something may come true. Take a step back and really think. People with cancer, decease, any type of death sentenced sickness... for most of them, having a certain time left to live IS THEIR REALITY! Even before this fatal prediction, they don't take their life for granted. Who are we to take our lives for granted when all we have to worry about is something that may or may not be true. 

If this is the end of it all, Let it be done. 

Just cherish what you were given now.